NEW YORK, NY — 05/20/09 — Are you looking for new and innovative ideas that can help you get up to speed with online issues teens face every day? Maybe your teenager is looking for ways to get more involved with issues that pressure them online daily. If you answered “yes” you are certainly not alone. Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows joined forces to create LMK (text speak for “let me know”) — an online safety resource where girls are the technology experts on subjects that are often best discussed at a teen-to-teen level, like cyberbullying, predators and social networking. This girl-led campaign allows girls to share their online concerns with peer “tech-perts” about the issues that affect them while raising awareness about how to keep girls (ages 13-17) safe while surfing the Web. In addition, parents have access to a site specifically geared to their needs, equipping them with the tools necessary to understand and act on the rapidly changing world of online safety.

 For most teen girls today, being online is part of a daily routine. Shannon, a member of the LMK editorial team, notes: “Now we have a chance to teach our parents a thing or two about the real issues we face every day.”

The campaign includes an interactive Web site for girls, as well as an e-newsletter and Web site for adults. Each month, the all-girl editorial board explores a different internet safety topic online and then shares what they learned in the e-newsletter which is distributed to adults the following month. The e-newsletter and parent site are designed to provide timely guidance and also serve as a tool to help families have open and honest conversations about the dangers that lurk in cyberspace. In addition, the girls’ Web site features forums, articles, quizzes, polls and a Question & Answer column from internet safety expert Parry Aftab. The program is open to everyone, Girl Scouts and non-Girl Scouts alike, as well as any adult who wants to learn about internet safety.

While the full scope of online threats, such as cyberbullying, are difficult to measure, we do know that nearly one in six U.S. children grades six to 10 is a victim of online bullying each year, according to the National Council of Juvenile Court Judges. Bullying is not “just a phase,” nor is it behavior in which “kids will be kids.” The repercussions of cyberbullying can be so grave that 14 U.S. states have passed or are proposing laws to make it a crime.

With detailed advice and information about online safety issues written by teen girls, this partnership between the Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows provides resources for both teens and parents.

For more information, please visit the Web site for girls at: http://lmk.girlscouts.org

Bullying, hazing, teasing and more - parents need to start educating themselves and their children about this harmful issue and how serious it is.  As I stated in yesterday’s Blog, the tragic loss of young lives is unspeakable - and when you hear that these kids were constantly bullied and teased, there has to be a stop to it.  Hazing is just as serious.  Many teens/tweens are pulled into this horrible activity in an effort to “fit in” or think they will be with the “cool” group. Think twice - learn more now.

Source: Connect with Kids

Fifteen-year-old Sean Butkus sees hazing as a pretty normal part of team sports. 

“Hazing is a way of initiating a kid and seeing if they’re determined enough’ he says. “Just like, it’s like a test to see if you know they’re gonna be there for you.”

As a freshman, Sean joined his older brother’s soccer team this fall. So he knew what to expect from hearing about his brother’s experience.

 “He got his head shaved” says Sean. “And I knew maybe that would happen to me. I actually got a Mohawk.” 

Psychologist John Lochridge makes the point that not all of these ‘rites of passage’ are damaging. They were originally meant to bring a group closer together through some sort of hardship, but within certain boundaries. 

“I think that hazing by nature is not necessarily a bad thing,” Lochridge says. “It’s when it gets humiliating or cruel or overly anxiety-provoking and it becomes a traumatic event, we have to get rid of that.”

A new survey finds that 45 percent of high school kids have been hazed: one in four was sleep deprived and 8 percent of the kids had to drink so much they either got sick or passed out.

“There’s just not enough supervisors to see what’s happening in every room – what’s happening in the bathroom, the locker room – there’s just so many places where so many things can happen,” Sean says.

Experts say the key is for the adults in charge to be proactive, to be alert, to ask questions and to make boundaries clear at the beginning of the year or the start of the season.

“There needs to be no sexuality involved and no abuse, no nudity, no humiliation – those kinds of things are above and beyond,” says Lochridge.

And coaches in particular can make sure they pick the right kids to be the team leaders.   

It helps to have captains who are approachable, who are mature enough to listen to the new kids, Lochridge states.

“You want a relationship somewhere between the kids where the ones who are being hazed can go to the older ones and say, look, this is enough,” he adds. “It’s gone over the line.  It’s getting inappropriate.  And hopefully, the older ones have the wisdom to respond to that.”

Sean was lucky. His team captains were responsible and his experience was all in good fun. 

“I mean, we still laugh about it,” he says. “I liked it.”

Tips for Parents

Hazing was created as a way to develop teamwork and unity among a group of individuals. It was also designed to “prove one’s worth.” While trust, devotion and determination are important attributes to possess, many organizations who participate in hazing take it to the extreme, turning it from a symbol of loyalty into a celebration of humiliation. Experts have developed a list of alternatives to hazing.

• Plan events in which the whole group, team or organization attends (such as field trips, retreats, dances, movies and plays).
• Participate in team-building activities (visiting a ropes course, playing paint ball, etc.).
• Plan a social event with another group.
• Develop a peer-mentor program within the group, teaming seasoned members with new members.
• Work together on a community service project or plan fundraisers for local charitable organizations.

Hazing may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people. Students and parents may consider hazing a part of tradition, having fun or harmless pranks. But according to D’Arcy Lyness, a child and adolescent psychologist, viewing hazing this way only adds to the problem. It trivializes the actual dangers that exist in the act of hazing. There are steps, however, that parents can take to help prevent hazing, Lyness says.

• Be educated about state anti-hazing laws (all but seven states have some sort of law applying to schools, colleges, universities and other educational institutions). Some schools – and states – may group hazing and bullying together in policies and laws.
• Make sure your child’s school and/or district has clearly defined policies that prohibit hazing, is taking measures to proactively prevent hazing from occurring and is acting immediately with repercussions when hazing does occur.
• Ask your parent-teacher association and/or school administrators to invite a local law-enforcement official to speak to parents and/or the student body about hazing and the state’s anti-hazing law.
• Work with school personnel and student leaders to create powerful – and safe – experiences to promote positive alternatives to hazing that would foster cohesion in group, club and team membership.
• Talk to other parents – especially those of upperclassmen and your child’s sports teammates – about what their children may have seen or experienced. If you know that the problem exists at your child’s school, you’ll be better prepared to discuss it with your child, fellow parents and school officials.
• Clichéd as it is, have the “if everyone else was jumping off the bridge, would you do it, too?” conversation with your child. Talk about why your child shouldn’t feel pressured to participate in anything, even if “everyone else is doing it” or “it’s always been done this way.”
• Talk specifically about hazing and what your child would do in a hypothetical hazing situation. Discuss how the group mentality sometimes can cause people to wait for someone else to do the right thing, stop something dangerous, speak out, etc. Discuss the topic in a way that doesn’t lecture or tell your child what to think or do. Let your child know that often it takes just one person to speak out or take different action to change a situation. Others will follow if someone has the courage to be first to do something different or to be first to refuse to go along with the group.
• Explain to your child that physical and mental abuse, no matter how harmless it may seem, isn’t part of becoming a member of the in crowd or a specific group, and that it even may be against the law. Emphasize the importance of telling you and an adult at school whenever another kid or group of kids causes your child or anyone else physical harm.
• If your child has experienced hazing, talk to school officials immediately. If physical abuse was involved, talk to your local law-enforcement agency. Though he or she may be unwilling or may feel uneasy about “telling on” peers, get precise details from your child about the incident – who, what, when, where and how.

• Above all, maintain open communication with your child. Always ask what’s going at school, what peers are doing, what pressures are present – physically, academically and socially. Encourage your child to come to you in any uncomfortable situation, big or small.

References

• Kids Health
• Stop Hazing
• National School Safety Center
• University of Maine

Summer camps can be a great self esteem building opportunity for many kids.  If you are still considering summer programs for your child - here are some ideas for your consideration.

Camp Finders® is a free service which matches children ages 6-18 with appropriate overnight summer camps and teen programs.

Since 1994, Camp Finders®   has personally visited approximately 175 sleepaway camps and various teen programs. During this time period, Camp Finders™ has been placing children in overnight camps and in the following teen programs: teen tours; wilderness camps & outdoor adventure; college enrichment; community service; sailing, SCUBA, & marine biology programs; foreign language programs and more… Visit www.campfinders.com.

Because of these social and personal changes, teens are also at higher risk for depression, which can also increase feelings of despair and the desire to commit suicide. In fact, according to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) almost all people who commit suicide suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or substance abuse disorder. Often, teens feel as though they have no other way out of their problems, and may not realize that suicidal thoughts and feelings can be treated. Unfortunately, due to the often volatile relationship between teens and their parents, teens may not be as forthcoming about suicidal feelings as parents would hope. The good news is there are many signs parents can watch for in their teen without necessarily needing their teen to open up to them.

At some point in most teens’ lives, they will experience periods of sadness, worry and/or despair. While it is completely normal for a healthy person to have these types of responses to pain resulting from loss, dismissal, or disillusionment, those with serious (often undiagnosed) mental illnesses often experience much more drastic reactions. Many times these severe reactions will leave the teen in despair, and they may feel that there is no end in sight to their suffering. It is at this point that the teen may lose hope, and with the absence of hope comes more depression and the feeling that suicide is the only solution. It isn’t.

Teen girls are statistically twice as likely as their male counterparts to attempt suicide. They tend to turn to drugs (overdosing) or to cut themselves, while boys are traditionally more successful in their suicide attempts because they utilize more lethal methods such as guns and hanging. This method preference makes boys almost four times more successful in committing suicide.

Studies have borne out that suicide rates rise considerably when teens can access firearms in their home. In fact, nearly 60% of suicides committed in the United States that result in immediate death are accomplished with a gun. This is one crucial reason that any gun kept in a home with teens, even if that teen does not display any outward signs of depression, be stored in a locked compartment away from any ammunition. In fact, the ammunition should be stored in a locked compartment as well, and the keys to both the gun and ammunition compartments should be kept in a different area from where normal, everyday keys are kept. Remember to always keep firearms, ammunition, and the keys to the locks containing them, away from kids.

Unfortunately, teen suicide is not a rare event. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 24. This disturbing trend is affecting younger children as well, with suicide rates experiencing dramatic increases in the under-15 age group from 1980 to 1996. Suicide attempts are even more prevalent, though it is difficult to track the exact rates.

Learn more about prevention. Click here.

Open lines of communication with your teen today.

It seems like everyone has a tattoo these days. What used to be the property of sailors, outlaws, and biker gangs is now a popular body decoration for many people. And it’s not just anchors, skulls, and battleships anymore — from school emblems to Celtic designs to personalized symbols, people have found many ways to express themselves with their tattoos. Maybe you’ve thought about getting one. But before you head down to the nearest tattoo shop and roll up your sleeve, there are a few things you need to know.

Read entire article: http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_body/body_art/safe_tattooing.html

I know there are many parents that can relate to this.  Personally, I grew up in a time when the divorce was almost unheard of, however once my siblings and I were all over 18, our parents divorced.  What a relief!  In many ways -  it is my opinion, if you you know the marriage it over, and you have exhausted every avenue to keep it alive - and it is obvious that the union is over, in many ways divorce can be a better route for the kids - rather than living with the feuding and constant tension and confliction within the family unit.  This is only my experience, take time to review these great tips from Connect with Kids.  I am in no way promoting divorce, I am only saying as mature adults we need to do what is best for all involved.  Of course, each family and their dynamics are different - requiring different solutions and results.

Source: Connect with Kids

“It’s very hard, and it takes a lot for me to trust somebody. I don’t trust people very openly, very freely.”

– Katherine Yarberry, 14 years old

Katherine Yarberry’s parents got along well until she was about 4 years old.

“We all had a lot of fun together, that’s all I can remember,” says Katherine, who is now 14.

But those good times with her mom and dad didn’t last long.  Soon, the arguing began, creating moments in time she will never forget.

“I was in the other room, and I heard something break, and my dad had thrown a plate against the wall,” she says.  “They were having a fight.”

When children grow up in households where their parents often fight and the prevailing emotion is anger, it’s easy to imagine why they would be unhappy.  And that unhappiness can last a lifetime.

“It’s very hard, and it takes a lot for me to trust somebody.  I don’t trust people very openly, very freely,” Katherine says.

The Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry reports that kids who witness constant fighting are at greater risk for depression, drug dependence and low self-esteem.

What’s more, their future relationships with their spouse or their children are also at risk.

“I think parents don’t understand, and they get involved in their own issues [so] they don’t get the perspective that they need to that they are role modeling for their children and children are probably going to copy them in some way or another,” says Dr. John Lochridge, a psychiatrist.

Experts say parents need to remember that every time they fight, they are influencing their children’s behavior patterns.

The good news, Lochridge says, is that if angry parents teach their kids anger, then they can also teach them conflict resolution.  And it’s never too late to begin.

“I think you can change your relationship to make it much more appropriate for the kids,” Lochridge says. “In fact, you can even role model conflict resolution.”

Tips for Parents

Several studies suggest that children of divorced parents are at an “increased risk” for later problems – namely divorce – in their own marriages.  One study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family,followed 2,000 married people and 335 of their children over a 17-year period. 

“Children who grow up with divorced parents tend to reach adulthood with a relatively weak commitment to the norm of lifelong marriage,” says study author Dr. Paul R. Amato of Pennsylvania State University.  “When their own marriages become troubled, they tend to leave the relationship rather than stick it out or work on it.”

He says adult children of divorce have a tendency to jettison relationships that may be salvageable. Among the findings in Dr. Amato’s study:

• Children of divorce are twice as likely to see their own marriages end in divorce.
• Children of “maritally distressed parents” who remain continuously married did not have an elevated risk of divorce.
• The risk of divorce was more likely among children whose parents reported a low, rather than high, level of discord prior to divorce.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) says that during the difficult period of divorce, parents may be preoccupied with their own problems but continue to be the most important people in their children’s lives.  Children will cope best if they know their mother and father will still be their parents and remain involved with them even though the marriage is ending and their parents won’t live together.  The AACAP says research shows that it is best for children of divorce when their parents can cooperate on behalf of their children.
The authors of Making Divorce Easier on Your Child:  50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust give the following advice to parents to help minimize the negative effects of divorce on their children:

• Subject children to as few changes as possible as a result of the divorce.  For example, try to have the children attend the same schools, continue to live in the same home, etc.
• Don’t argue or fight with your ex-spouse in your children’s presence.  The amount of parental conflict that your children witness following divorce is directly related to their level of adjustment.
• Consistent discipline is very important.  Both parents should use similar, age-appropriate discipline techniques with their children.
• Don’t use children as messengers in parental communications.  Children should never be asked to relay messages, such as “Tell your dad that he is late with the child support payment.” 
• Don’t use children as spies.
• Don’t use children as allies in parental battles.
• Don’t demean the other parent in front of children.  Remember that your ex-spouse is still your children’s parent.
• Don’t burden children with personal fears and concerns.
• It is usually in your children’s best interest to have a consistent pattern of frequent visits with the non-custodial parent.
• If major problems develop for children and/or parents, seek professional assistance.

References

• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
• Journal of Marriage and Family
• Making Divorce Easier on Your Child:  50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust, by Nicholas Long and Rex Forehand
• Pennsylvania State University
• Simmons College

As I saw on the news, experts are saying that parents with children between the ages of 12-18 should have them screened for depression.  It is not about promoting medication, it is about helping to understand if there are areas in their lives that can be causing stress and anxiety that can leave to making negative choices such has experimenting with substance abuse, hanging with a  less than desirable peer group, feelings of low self worth, etc.  Like adults, children can be prone to depression and stress and not mature enough to understand these feelings.  With this, acting out in a negative way can follow.  Take time to learn more.

Source: USA Today

Experts: Doctors should screen teens for depression.

If you have teens or tweens, government-appointed experts have a message: U.S. adolescents should be routinely screened for major depression by their primary care doctors. The benefits of screening kids 12 to 18 years old outweigh any risks if doctors can assure an accurate diagnosis, treatment and follow-up care, says the independent U.S. Preventive Services Task Force.

It’s a change from the group’s 2002 report concluding there wasn’t enough evidence to support or oppose screening for teens. The task force, though, says there’s still insufficient proof about the benefits and harms of screening children 7 to 11 years old.

Depression strikes about 1 out of 20 teens, and it’s been linked to lower grades, more physical illness and drug use, as well as early pregnancy. 

Questionnaires can accurately identify teens prone to depression, plus there’s new evidence that therapy and/or some antidepressants can benefit them, the expert panel says in a report in today’s Pediatrics .  But careful monitoring is vital since there’s “convincing evidence” that antidepressants can increase suicidal behavior in teens, the report says.

Accompanying the task force advisory in Pediatrics is a research review saying there have been few studies on the accuracy of depression screening tests, but the tests “have performed fairly well” among adolescents.  Treatment can knock down symptoms of depression, say the reviewers from Kaiser Permanente and the Oregon Evidence-Based Practice Center in Portland, Ore. 

In a “show me the money” volley back, pediatricians also weigh in on the topic in today’s issue of their journal. Insurance plans and managed care companies that stiff or under-pay pediatricians for mental health services throw up barriers to mental health care in doctors’ offices, says the American Academy of Pediatrics.  Kids’ doctors should be compensated for screenings, as well as consults with mental health specialists and parents, AAP recommends.

Study, study, study - college applications, campus tours and major decisions!  What do I want to be when I grow up?  What do I want to study?  Do I want a large campus, small?  Close to home or out of state?  Choices, choices, choices - but most will begin with your SAT scores.  Be prepared, no one says you have to know what you want to be, but what you do need to know is you have to do your best on your test scores.  With this, many doors will be open for you and chances are greater will find what will be your brightest future.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Some students will see huge differences. [Some] students don’t improve at all. Students get out of it what they put into it.”

– Wendi Deen Johnson, Kaplan Score Prep

In just a few weeks 17-year old Caroline will take the SAT for the first time.

 “Well I know it’s like a really important test and I am really kind of concerned about that because I want to go to a really good college,” says Caroline.
 
To prepare for the college entrance exam, Caroline enrolled in an SAT prep course where she learned some useful strategies. 

“For instance, she says, “What kind of questions are going to be asked and timing- it speeds me up so that I can get through more questions and hopefully get more answers right. “

But how will that prep course affect her score?

 “Some students will see huge differences- we’ve had students who’ve increased 300-points. We also have students who don’t improve at all. Most of the time, students get out of it what they put into it,” says Wendi Deen Johnson, a spokesperson with the Score Prep division of Kaplan, Inc. a national test preparation company.

According to the College Board which administers the SAT, on average, SAT coaching increases verbal scores by eight points and math scores by eighteen points. In other words, coached students are likely to get one to three more questions right when compared to non-coached students.

If parents do opt to enroll their children in professional prep courses, even some in the test prep industry say it can be a mistake to start too early.

“If it’s a kid who’s really anxious about test-taking, then probably preparing them early wouldn’t be the best thing. You’d want to give them some time to mature and grow and learn some more skills,” says Johnson.

Commercial prep courses can cost hundreds of dollars, but experts say parents can help their kids prepare for less money by purchasing study guides, surfing the net for information, or enrolling in independent study courses.

That is exactly what Caroline did. Soon she’ll find out how well it worked.

“I’m hoping for a 1400 on the SAT,” she says.  A near perfect score.

Tips for Parents

Anxiety stemming from standardized tests is not uncommon among today’s teens. In fact, a poll conducted by Public Agenda showed that 73 percent of surveyed students said they get nervous before taking a test, while 5 percent said they become too nervous to even take the test.

The University of Illinois Extension says that most students experience some level of anxiety during an exam, and this anxiety is due to a variety of reasons:

• Poor time management
• Failure to organize information
• Poor study habits
• Negative test-taking experience
• Low self-confidence
• Negative attitude about school

According to the State University of New York at Buffalo, children who frequently experience test anxiety also worry about the future and become extremely self-critical. Instead of feeling challenged by the prospect of success, they become afraid of failure. This makes them anxious about tests and their own abilities. And ultimately, they become so worked up that they feel incompetent about the subject matter or the test.

The National PTA says that it does not help to tell your child to relax, to think about something else or stop worrying about standardized tests. But you can help your child reduce test anxiety and prepare for tests like the SAT by encouraging the following actions:

• Space studying over days or weeks. (Real learning occurs through studying that takes place over a period of time.) Understand the information and relate it to what is already known. Review it more than once. By doing this, your child should feel prepared at exam time.
• Don’t “cram” the night before – cramming increases anxiety, which interferes with clear thinking. Get a good night’s sleep. Rest, exercise and eating well are as important to test taking as they are to other schoolwork.
• Read the directions carefully when the instructor hands out the test. If you don’t understand them, ask the teacher to explain.
• Look quickly at the entire examination to see what types of questions are included (multiple choice, matching, true/ false, essay, etc.) and, if possible, the number of points for each. This will help you pace yourself.
• If you don’t know the answer to a question, skip it and go on. Don’t waste time worrying about it. Mark it so you can identify it as unanswered. If you have time at the end of the exam, return to the unanswered question(s).

As a parent, you can be a great help to your child if you observe these do’s and don’ts about tests and testing from the U.S. Department of Education:

• Don’t be too anxious about your child’s test scores. If you put too much emphasis on test scores, this can upset your child.
• Do encourage your child. Praise him/her for the things he or she does well. If your child feels good about himself or herself, he/she will do his/her best. Children who are afraid of failing are more likely to become anxious when taking tests and more likely to make mistakes.
• Don’t judge your child on the basis of a single test score. Test scores are not perfect measures of what your child can do. Other factors might influence a test score. For example, your child can be affected by the way he/she is feeling, the setting in the classroom and the attitude of the teacher. Remember also that one test is simply one test.
• Meet with your child’s teacher as often as possible to discuss his/her progress. Ask the teacher to suggest activities for you and your child to do at home to help prepare for tests and improve your child’s understanding of schoolwork. Parents and teachers should work together to benefit students.
• Make sure your child attends school regularly. Remember, tests do reflect children’s overall achievement. The more effort and energy your child puts into learning, the more likely he/she will do well on tests.
• Provide a quiet, comfortable place for studying at home.
• Make sure that your child is well rested on school days and especially the day of a test. Children who are tired are less able to pay attention in class or to handle the demands of a test.
• Give your child a well-rounded diet. A healthy body leads to a healthy, active mind.
• Provide books and magazines for your child to read at home. By reading new materials, your child will learn new words that might appear on a test. Ask your child’s school about a suggested outside reading list or get suggestions from the public library.

References

• College Board
• National PTA
• Public Agenda
• State University of New York at Buffalo
• University of Illinois Extension
• U.S. Department of Education

Source: Connect With Kids

“I thought I was better off knowing what he was doing rather than have him be doing it behind my back, which he did anyway.”

–

Andrew’s mom Pam Wolpa experimented when she was young.  She says, “Keep in mind when I was Andrew’s age, I was smoking pot, and wasn’t thinking a whole lot about it.”

So, when Andrew started on marijuana, she never told him no. Pam says, “I thought I was better off knowing what he was doing rather than have him be doing it behind my back, which he did anyway.”

If parents tried drugs in their youth…what should they say to their kids?  Experts say one choice is to tell the truth.  Dr. Michael Fishman, a director at Ridgeview Institute, a drug rehabilitation center in metro Atlanta says,  “I think a child will really perk up and listen when they hear, ‘Oh, really? You experimented? What was that like?  Was there peer pressure?’”

He says if parents do admit to using drugs, they should stress their regrets, and make it clear to their kids that drug use is simply unacceptable.   Dr. Fishman says, “I think you can use that as an opportunity to say, ‘Yes, I made some mistakes.  If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t do it, and it’s very clear that I’m not going to allow that today.”

He also says parents should explain drugs are far more potent today than they used to be.  Dr. Fishman says, “When we were growing up the potency of marijuana for THC was maybe 6 to 8 percent.  With the hydroponically grown marijuana, we’re seeing anywhere from forty, fifty, sixty or higher percent THC.”

Today, would Pam Wolpa overlook her son’s drug use?  She says, “No.  Looking back, I would never tell any parent to condone it.  Give a clear message from the beginning—it’s not okay.”

Andrew Wolpa says,  “The really bad thing is that I’m an 18-year-old in rehab and I still want to try more drugs.”

Tips for Parents

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) describes adolescence as a “time for trying new things.” Teens use alcohol and drugs for many reasons, including curiosity, because it feels good, to reduce stress, to feel grown up or to fit in. Teens at risk of developing serious drug and alcohol problems include those …

• With a family history of substance abuse.
• Who are depressed.
• Who have low self-esteem.
• Who feel like they don’t fit in or are out of the mainstream.

In addition, warning signs of teen drug abuse may include …

• Fatigue, repeated health complaints, red and glazed eyes, and a lasting cough.
• Personality change, sudden mood changes, irritability, irresponsible behavior, low self-esteem, poor judgment, depression and a general lack of interest.
• Starting arguments, breaking rules or withdrawing from the family.
• Decreased interest, negative attitudes, drop in grades, many absences, truancy and discipline problems.
• New friends who are less interested in standard home and school activities, problems with the law, and changes to less conventional styles in dress and music.

Peer pressure is one of the most difficult inducements faced by teens to use illegal substances. Experts at the Hazelden Foundation have created the following model that a teen might follow in dealing with pressure to use drugs or alcohol:

• Ask questions – Size up the situation before “going along.” For example, a classmate might say, “Hey, lets go hang out at the mall” – and have shoplifting in mind. To be responsible, ask, “What are we going to do? How long will we be there?” These questions will help you make informed decisions before getting into a problem situation.
• Name the trouble – After you identify the situation, you need to state the possible problem: “That sounds like trouble to me.”
• State the consequences – Use the threat of punishment as an excuse not to drink. Say something such as, “My parents would ground me for months,” or “I could get kicked off the soccer team.”
• Offer an alternative – If a friend invites you to drink or use drugs, suggest an alternative. “Lets go get pizza.” If the friend pressures you more, walk away, but leave the door open. You could say, “Hey, that’s fine. Go do your thing. You’re welcome to join me later.”
• Get out of trouble – Should you find yourself in a problem situation, get out immediately and call a responsible adult for help.

Drugs are a threat to almost every child, and one of the best ways to help ensure your child will make the right decisions when faced with choices regarding substance abuse is to confront the issue with your child as early as possible. Experts at the American Academy of Pediatrics list the following as ways to address the subject of substance abuse with your child:

• Talk with your child honestly. Don’t wait to have “the drug talk” with your child. Make discussions about tobacco, alcohol and other drugs part of your daily conversation. Know the facts about how drugs can harm your child. Clear up any wrong information, such as “everybody drinks” or “marijuana won’t hurt you.”
• Really listen to your child. Encourage your child to share questions and concerns about tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. Do not do all the talking or give long lectures.
• Help your child develop self-confidence. Look for all the good things in your child – and then tell your child how proud you are. If you need to correct your child, criticize the action, not your child. Praise your child’s efforts as well as successes.
• Help your child develop strong values. Talk about your family values. Teach your child how to make decisions based on these standards of right and wrong. Explain that these are the standards for your family, no matter what other families might decide.
• Be a good example. Look at your own habits and thoughts about tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. Your actions speak louder than words.
• Help your child deal with peer pressure and acceptance. Discuss the importance of being an individual and the meaning of real friendships. Help your child understand that he/she does not have to do something wrong just to feel accepted. Remind your child that a real friend won’t care if he/she does not use tobacco, alcohol or other drugs.
• Make family rules that help your child say “no.” Talk with your child about your expectation that he/she will say “no” to drugs. Spell out what will happen if he/she breaks these rules. Be prepared to follow through, if necessary.
• Encourage healthy, creative activities. Look for ways to get your child involved in athletics, hobbies, school clubs and other activities that reduce boredom and excess free time. Encourage positive friendships and interests. Look for activities that you and your child can do together.
• Team up with other parents. Work with other parents to build a drug-free environment for children. When parents join together against drug use, they are much more effective than when they act alone. One way is to form a parent group with the parents of your child’s friends. The best way to stop a child from using drugs is to stop friends from using them.
• Know what to do if your child has a drug problem. Realize that no child is immune to drugs. Learn the signs of drug use. Take seriously any concerns you hear from friends, teachers and/or other kids about your child’s possible drug use. Trust your instincts. If you truly feel that something is wrong with your child, it probably is. If there’s a problem, seek professional help.

According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA), parents are the key to keeping kids drug-free. CASA research shows that the extent to which parents take a “hands-on” approach in raising their kids, the more they establish appropriate rules and standards of behavior, and the more they monitor their teens, the lower the teen’s risk of substance abuse. “Hands-on,” according to CASA, includes parents who consistently take 10 or more of the following 12 actions:

• Monitor what their teens watch on television
• Monitor what they do on the Internet
• Put restrictions on the music (CDs) they buy
• Know where their teens are after school and on weekends
• Expect to be and are told the truth by their teens about where they are going
• Are “very aware” of their teen’s academic performance
• Impose a curfew
• Make clear they would be “extremely upset” if their teen used pot
• Eat dinner with their teens six or seven times a week
• Turn off the television during dinner
• Assign their teens regular chores
• Have an adult present when the teens return from school

References

• American Academy of Pediatrics
• The Hazelden Foundation
• The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse
• Partnership for a Drug-Free America

Communication should be a parent number 1 priority with today’s teens and pre-teens.

The Consumer Healthcare Products Association  (CHPA), founded in 1881, is a member-based association representing the leading manufacturers and distributors of nonprescription, over-the-counter (OTC) medicines and nutritional supplements. Many CHPA member products provide millions of Americans with safe, effective, and convenient therapies for the treatment and prevention of many common ailments and diseases.

Studies and common sense tell us that parents play a critical role in preventing substance abuse among teens by simply talking to them about it. CHPA’s Stop Medicine Abuse initiative empowers parents, as well as other community members, to get educated and take action in a variety of ways. Ultimately, the goal is to make sure parents talk to their kids before someone else does.